 Friend\frend\ Definition: to love; akin to a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance 2a: one that is NOT hostile b: one that is of the SAME nation, party or group (or forum board, *coughSScough*) c: one that is awesome, and would like to FRIEND this journal! ;)This is Jen aka tonks26 from SS, Jen, Jenny, Genevieve in real life, book lover, music whore and several other personalities people know of me. Friends? Then comment away. :)Two million hugs to Cheeky who helped me set this up! | |
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Massive thanks for those who've responded so far. Kindly confirm by texting/posting, people - we need to have an idea of how many are actually going. =) Additional updates: - Still a potluck affair, but this time there are assigned dishes per batch. We don't want everyone showing up with the same dish right? Class of 2000: BARBECUE tayo. =) I'll post the other batches assignments later. Utensils, per batch - BYO! ^^ - Tack Yarza will be designing the tarpaulins for the event. We need pictures from each batch(class pictures preferred) and if you have random pics from every DBS event we ever had (Family Day, Gratitude day, field trip, etc)--kindly forward to Tack Yarza or me. - A meeting will be held next Wednesday, 21 January, Room 104, at DBS. Anyone who could attend, please do. =) - Again: your parents are invited! =) That's it for now. Keep the sms messages coming - we need confirmation. Thanks everyone! | |
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I was thinking of posting a year-end piece but never got around to starting it. Don’t worry it won’t be a day-to-day, blow-by-blow account of stuff that happened in ’08 (even I won’t be interested in reading that); just general ramblings of things that happened in the past year. Papa passed on this year. He wasn’t 100% healthy when 2008 kicked in, but we had no idea that ’08 would be his last. I could still vividly remember everything that transpired from the moment I got the text message in July saying he suffered from multiple stroke to that day in September when we laid him to rest. I hope everything will be crystal clear in my head whenever I look back to this period. I don’t ever want to forget. I started a new job in March, leaving behind three years of working with good people and a not-so-good incident towards the end. I won’t elaborate, but I really felt like I was starting with square one again. Career-wise, I thought I was going nowhere. So I just maintained a low-profile, not calling any attention to myself, and did what I was told. I tried to work as best as I could. Dunno if Papa and Lolo had a hand in this (I would like to think so ^^), but a day after Papa’s burial I was told that I got short-listed for a promotion at work. I tried out, not expecting anything, but got the post. Sometimes I still couldn’t quite believe what just happened. Still got a LOT of things to learn, but this is one opportunity I won’t let go of. Just looking at the pictures took this year. I had a lot of great times with a lot of great people. It could’ve been an elaborate dinner at a top-notch resto or a chance meeting at an office building—it didn’t matter as long as I was with them. Here’s to more pictures (and good times) for the New Year. =) 2008 won’t be complete without me rambling about something or anything Nippon. My Japan obsession went through the roof as I read nothing but Japanese (albeit translated) novels, watched Jdoramas and movies and swamped my ipod with so many Japanese songs you could count the English ones with just one hand. Haha. Don’t even talk to me about going to Japan—give me two years, people. Okay, make that three. I will get there, you’ll see. ^^ That was 2008 for me in a nutshell. Here’s to blessed 2009 for all of us.
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forget the tagging! just copy paste ^^ Directions: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. 16 Things About Myself: 1. I am obsessed with everything Japanese. 2. My obsession is so bad, that sometimes I do not read anything (novels, etc) not related to Japan in any way. 3. I resigned from the place I've worked for 3 years earlier this year. 4. Got into a job, and I'm glad to say no regrets so far. ^^ 5. I'm in love with Tablo from Epik High! 6. I cannot wait to watch (and read) José Saramago's Blindness 7. I <333 adobo with pineapples. 8. I woundn't mind eating spaghetti everyday. 9. I was named after a French actress I've never even heard of. 10. I could stay online for HOURS. 11. Sign of ageing: I'm beginning to hate Christmas. Seriously. 12. I'm always on a diet that I've never even started yet. 13. Hoodies + multi-coloured sneakers = <333 14. I spend more on books over clothes. 15. I love going to Quiapo/Divisoria/Chinatown 16. By hook or by crook I am going to Japan! I AM!!! :D | |
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This is a week too late, but let me write about my dad's 40th/Halloween/All Saints/Souls Day in general.
When we were younger we weren't really one of the families who trooped to cemeteries and spent the whole day with the dead. Not until Lolo passed away in 2004, and papa this year. It's not really that bad, but I was kinda amused by what I saw last week.
Unlike the public cemeteries where people (both living and dead) occupied every available square inch, Loyola in Marikina wasn't really that crowded. Sure, there were still a lot of people (kids, especially), but my mom said there were more cars than people. We're not complaining but it did make finding parking space hell on earth.
I saw families who just set up make-shift tents (like us) just in case it rained; people who brought along camping gear for the night; and families who set up elaborate tents with AIRCONDITIONER. How crazy is that?! I also saw one where they practically had a front porch with all the flowers/plants set up, and another that had catering service set up oustide.
I wonder what I'll see next year. Someone coming in via a chopper, maybe? =)
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Papa's 40th day since his passing was marked by a mass at Don Bosco and a dinner with family and friends afterwards. It was great to see relatives again, and I'm kinda relieved that we've finally given out the thank you notes to almost everyone. Pictures to be uploaded later--my sister went out and hogged the camera AGAIN. >.<
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I can't believe that training is almost over and done with! I can't believe that I've gone through THREE thick binders of training material and taught as best as I could. I still have a looooong way to go, but it was a great learning experience. FS 9 -- Good luck! =) And Chelo, THANK YOU. It ain't over yet, but thank you for being a great mentor/B.I. (haha!)/bus service (ay, si Marvin pala yan), and food tripper (can't think of a better term, sorry!) At parehong lang pala tayo ng taste ni Alessandra de Rossi. Haha! | |
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I still go through all my routines but I now FULLY realize the meaning of having a chip on on your shoulder. It's more like a boulder actually, and I could literally feel this weight on my back. I'm sure it's way lighter than what my mom is carrying though. There's my dad who's barely hanging on, a whole pack of kids to attend to, and a hospital bill that's getting longer everyday. I haven't been much help, although I'm wiped out myself, emotionally (and financially), but mama and lola are still as strong as rocks as ever. I'm thankful that my aunt and her family stayed this week to help out, and I may not say this to their faces, but thank you thank you thank you, a million times over.
I've felt that I've sort of isolated myself from the whole situation, even felt a bit disconnected at times. It could root from irresponsibility or fear of what going to happen, but deep down I think I know the real reason.
I'm sorry if I haven't done my part. I am so sorry. Like what I've done most of my life, I'll just let this pass by and I'll ride it listlessly.
Have I hit rock bottom? I don't think so, but sometimes I think I have. Almost.
I wrote that over two months ago, and on 25 September 2008, my dad quietly passed away at home.
I don't really know how to write about what happened because there are so many stories, anecdotes, and images I want to share. From the night when he died, to the MASSIVE outpouring of love from friends and family, to a dream that let us know he's finally okay--I simply don't know where to start. Although it was a heartbreaking affair for everyone involved, it's an experience I would never let go of in my mind.
I've been trying to come up with the perfect, most hearfelt Thank you note to everyone for days, but I always come up dry. How do you say thank you to countless people who helped when things were falling apart for us? How do you show your gratitude to the people who were in the hospital for weeks, relieved my mom from hospital duties, and just stayed with us until we took him home? During the hospital stay, and eventually the wake, even the simplest text message from a friend saying they were praying or thinking of us made things easier for the family. How do you show appreciation to friends, neighbors, classmates, and co-workers who supported the family for the last two months?
I feel like even the sincerest thank you note wouldn't suffice. But for now, this is all we could say: THANK YOU. A million thanks to everyone, in all languages, to everyone, everyone who were with us. I hate making promises because there's always the chance that I couldn't deliver - but for all my friends who held me up through this: I'm always here. Always. I didn't reach rock bottom like I thought because people "cushioned" me, as one friend put it. Whether it's on LJ, the tons of networking sites I'm on, sms, in the office, or in the neighborhood--I'm not the most reliable person in the world, but hey, I'm here. Just like you were when I needed you.
So this is what it feels to be loved. =)
- I feel:grateful
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...that you've hit rock bottom?
Saying that it has been a hellish week for me (and my family) is a complete understatement. My dad (who's also an amputee) suffered from multiple stroke last week. He's been living off a respirator for several days now, and although his condition has slightly improved from last week, he's still got a long way to go. Half of his body's paralyzed, and I doubt that he could hear us.
I was at work when I received an SMS from my mom telling me he was rushed to the hospital. I'm not really the type who reacts quicky to a lot of things, but I felt numb reading that message. It's just been two years since his leg was amputated and last week we were not even sure if he was going to make it. It felt weird because the night before I was talking to my dad, something trivial about turning the lights out. I have to say, I don't have a very good relationship with my father (which I will not write about ever...well, not yet), but I just realized now that maybe I was the last person he talked to while he was still conscious and his mind was clear. Then last Saturday, when things got worse, we all thought the same thing but no one dared to say out loud.
I still go through all my routines but I now FULLY realize the meaning of having a chip on on your shoulder. It's more like a boulder actually, and I could literally feel this weight on my back. I'm sure it's way lighter than what my mom is carrying though. There's my dad who's barely hanging on, a whole pack of kids to attend to, and a hospital bill that's getting longer everyday. I haven't been much help, although I'm wiped out myself, emotionally (and financially), but mama and lola are still as strong as rocks as ever. I'm thankful that my aunt and her family stayed this week to help out, and I may not say this to their faces, but thank you thank you thank you, a million times over.
I've felt that I've sort of isolated myself from the whole situation, even felt a bit disconnected at times. It could root from irresponsibility or fear of what going to happen, but deep down I think I know the real reason.
I'm sorry if I haven't done my part. I am so sorry. Like what I've done most of my life, I'll just let this pass by and I'll ride it listlessly.
Have I hit rock bottom? I don't think so, but sometimes I think I have. Almost. | |
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I've no more than five hours of sleep every night for the past week and my eyes feel like they're filled with sand so excuse the randomness and if you're not interested...wait, why are you still reading this? =p
I won't talk about work because it's boring but lately I've been doing NOTHING but watch endless episodes of Japanese dramas and anime. If it's not that I'm online watching numerous clips and MVs of Japanese bands or celebrities, or scour every bit of info online about my latest (most likely Japanese) obsession. Oh yeah, once my eyes turn white from waaayyy too much time spent staring at screens, I plug my ipod and go deaf listening to Radwimps. No prizes for guessing where this band comes from.
I sometimes feel ridiculous, spending hours on listening to a language I could hardly understand. But I dunno, I'm naturally drawn to all things Nippon these days. Which is ironic because I used to HATE anime for some reason. Anyway, my obsession is at an all time high (haha) and it sounds corny (even shallow ) but yeah, figuratively speaking it is a kind of high for me when ever I watch Zettai Kareshi or listen to Tsumasaki by Oreskaband. Meaning this obsession is my main diversion these days, and I love that it lets me forget about boring, depressing stuff even for awhile.
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This is called 50 FIRST REACTIONS. Type what comes to your mind first whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random, just type it! Repost it for all of your friends.
1. Beer: Yuck
2. Food: Oishi. Sarap. Delicious. There, I’ve said it in three languages^^ 3. Relationships: balance
4. Your CRUSH: probably doesn’t like me =(
5. Power Rangers: Gaya-gaya sa Bioman,haha! 6. Life: hazy but exciting^^
7. Death: full stop
8. School: wanna be there again^^
9. The President: don’t like her
10. Yummy: yung pesto sa bday ni tack kahapon. Happy bday Tack!^^
11. Cars: won’t ever learn to drive one. I’d rather have someone drive for me, please =)
12. Movie: Last Quarter! Last one I’ve seen recently
13. Halloween: creepy
14. Sex: …
15. Religion: Not for everyone
16. Myspace: never updated (my account). It’s boring!
17. Phobia: rats and other creepy crawlies. Eeew.
18. Marriage: Nope, not for me.
19. Blondes: Not true that they get all the fun^^
20. Slippers: comfy
21. Shoes: sneakers and flats
22. Asians: Too broad a term to describe. 23: Past time: Reading, watch Japanese dramas/anime ENDLESSLY
24. One night stands: haven't tried it
25: Cell Phone: could live without it. Seriously.
27: Smoke/Cigarette: Double yuck.
28. Dreams: alternate universe
29: College: Didn’t leave much of an impression
30. High school life: Happiness.^^ 31. Pajamas: Worn only during rainy nights 32. Stars: endless
33. FitnessCenter: might end up there soon. I need to lose weight!
34. Alcohol: …
35. The word Love: shouldn’t be taken lightly^^
36. Friends: Lea, Shelah, Kokie, Joan, Charla, Anna…and the list goes on^^
37. Money: makes me go crazy
38. Heartache: keep it in, shut up, then move on
39. Time: priceless 40. Divorce: makes marriage disposable
41. Dogs: Hate ’em after one bit me a few months ago
42. Undies: necessary! haha
43. Parents: love ‘em
44. Babies: cuties, but not for me 45. Stripper: a pole!
46. Blogs: Livejournal.
47. News: That execution-style murders in a Laguna bank =(
48. Paris Hilton: overrated
49. Pizza: I want one now
50. Kleenex: handy. | |
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......
I finally passed that grueling training course for my new job. After almost two months on pins and needles, cautiously treading over subjects and systems I had a hard time understanding half of the time, and meeting cool people along the way, training is finally over and done with. I could now breath, relax, and get ready to do my job.
Which is not exactly as easy as it sounds.
I left my previous job feeling a bit put-out, meaning it wasn't exactly a good parting after three years. I wouldn't go into detail here, but I got this new job full of apprehension, but hopeful at the same time. My morale was at an all-time low to say the least, and I didn't really know what to expect.
Now that the first phase is over, I thought it would be a bit smoother from now on. I am so wrong because I just realized the other day that the vicious cycle continues--two hours in front of the computer, break, another two hours, break, work for the rest of the afternoon, go home. Repeat, rinse, then go kill yourself or whatever.
I know I sound so depressed here and I know I shouldn't because I am thankful to have gotten this post. It pays better, has a good schedule, and I now know some cool people from the office. But just thinking about doing the SAME thing over and over again--which I've already gone through for the past three years--now it does get a bit too much. I don't know how long I could last trapped in this cycle and the worst thing is, I'm already thinking this way when I'm just about to start.
What I need is a distraction. I better get active and just be out there, just like what someone told me. Suggestions, anyone?
For the meantime I'll hang in there, do my best, and...get caught up in the cycle again. | |
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